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The Rose Warrior in Action : Doing battle with 'Lamarque' & 'New Dawn'
Robin Delargy, Vintage Bloomers (from the May 2003 edition of
Roseaholics Unanimous)

I'm mad, I tell you! Certifiably rose-obsessed! What was I thinking, planting a monster house-eater like 'Lamarque'? That sucker is already reaching the second story of my house, and I don't have a ladder tall enough to reach the top. But oh… he's glorious! Absolutely covered with buds and in my mind's eye I see him in his full blooming glory. It was a stroke of genius, planting him there! I just need to buy a taller ladder.

Now 'New Dawn' is a different situation entirely. I bought a Costco box of Band-Aids before I tackled her. This year she was taken down off the Golden Chain tree she was scrambling up and through, and properly trained. Her long, thorny canes were wrapped (braided, really) around the main branches of the tree. She is going to be so spectacular this year! However, I foolishly tackled this project all by my lonesome. It must have been quite a sight, watching my wrestle with these long canes that were whipping around, removing bits of flesh with each glancing blow. The air must have been blue from my cursing, especially when she whipped my hat off and removed a hunk of scalp and scratched me across my cheek and forehead. By the time I had her beaten into submission, I looked like I'd been wrestling cougars for sport. But all the pain was forgotten as I stepped back and admired my handiwork – it was a thing of beauty. Now, a month later, my wounds are long healed and 'New Dawn' is leafing out and throwing blooming laterals from nearly every leaf axil.

Where roses are concerned, it's definitely 'no pain, no gain'. It was worth a little voluntary bloodletting.

Next year I'll have to face training 'Mermaid'. I need a full set of motorcycle leathers, complete with helmet and faceplate. Where does one go to buy a DIY blood-transfusing kit?

The Rose Warrior in Action: Wrangling with 'Mermaid'
Robin Delargy, Vintage Bloomers (from the March 31, 2004 edition of Roseaholics Unanimous)

Note: As it turns out, this rose isn't 'Mermaid' after all. It's R. mulliganii, an extremely vigorous (albeit tender) rambler. I have since acquired a bona fide 'Mermaid' and am looking forward to wrangling with her in good time!

I was already dreading this last year: "Next year I'll have to face training 'Mermaid'. I need a full set of motorcycle leathers, complete with helmet and faceplate. Where does one go to buy a DIY blood-transfusing kit?"

Did I take my own advice? Of course not – that would be entirely too sensible for a Mad Rosarian, wouldn't it? Oh, no – not this gal! My typical modus operandi was evident: pruning in whatever clothes I was wearing at the time (lack of planning), no gloves (where did I leave them last fall?) and no First Aid Kit (I used up the band-aids & hydrogen peroxide and forgot to buy more.) Will I ever learn? I'm 41 years old and still dumb as a box of rocks when it comes to personal rose safety, so no… probably not.

May 3, 2003

You may remember me mentioning in the past that 'Mermaid' is vigorous. Well… 'vigorous' is something of an understatement. 'Voracious' may be a better word… as in 'Little Shop of Horrors'. "Feed me, Seymour!" It was just a cute little wee baby when she arrived in the spring of 2002. I gave her a gallon pot. She grew. In the fall of 2002 I moved her up to a 5 gallon pot. She grew some more. I felt the first stirring of unease. In the spring of 2003, she GREW – and I began to feel fear. Summer 2003 I built her new bed – a large raised bed against the north side of our garage, with rock walls and filled with good topsoil, compost and other rich goodies… and put her in the ground. My husband Neal helped me, and she thanked us both by flailing us bloody. But we slapped on some bandages, congratulated ourselves on a job well done and moved on.

August 39, 2003

Well… she grew. And grew. And we realized we had made a huge mistake: we should have built the trellis on the garage before we planted her! There were canes at least 8' long snaking along the ground and tangled in the other roses in this bed… and we had to go in there to build the trellis. Can you imagine our horror at the prospect? But Mad Rosarians aren't afraid to do a little bleeding for a good cause, so build that trellis we did. And oh! did 'Mermaid' look wonderful on that trellis! So we congratulated ourselves again (while administering couples first aid) and again, moved on to the next project.

March 27, 2004

And 'Mermaid' grew. And grew (we once measure 18" growth in less than 2 weeks!) And grew some more… up and over the top of the trellis. And we realized, with abject terror, that we were going to have to put trellising on the roof of the garage!

I sweet-talked Neal into doing that. I may be mad, but I'm not stupid.

I was wrong about one thing last year: 'Mermaid' wasn't waiting until this year to start toying with us – she got her pound of flesh (each) last year. As I look at her now, gloriously covering the side and half the roof of my garage with splendid green foliage, I close my eyes… and can hear the growling. 'Mermaid' is awake… and she's hungry.

Oh… and Neal only trellised part of the garage roof last year. Poor sucker. (Note to self: update Neal's Life Insurance policy.)

Maybe this year I'll be sensible and buy some body armor… but I doubt it. Mad Rosarians like a challenge.

Update: R. mulliganii is one rampant beast of a rose! Warning: frightening photos below. ;-)

July 14, 2004 July 14, 2004 August 31, 2004

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